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Motrolix

$17,000 Bentley Cellphone By Vertu

This week in things that will make you vomit blood: Bentley has partnered with luxury smartphone manufacturer Vertu to create a cellphone, which can be bought, carried around, and stolen off of your person for the low sum of $17,000.

Yes, $17,000 for a smartphone. Honestly, what a brilliant, everyday item to turn into an appallingly expensive heirloom, because as we all know, the hardware used in cellphones never changes. Ever.

[The author would like to express that the above paragraph was intended as sarcasm.]

The Bentley cellphone is powered by a 2.3 GHz Qualcomm quad-core processor, and has 64 GB of internal memory. Legendary camera-maker Hasselblad helped to design the smartphone’s camera, the audio system was developed with help from high-end Danish audio/video manufacturer Bang & Olufsen, and this Bentley cellphone even has a wireless charging function.

In fact, the cost for the phone is so high partly because Bentley had to reanimate Nikola Tesla so that they could enlist his help with that last one.

Apart from that, your $17,000 gets you craftsmanship. The Bentley cellphone is chiseled from lightweight, durable titanium with fine, intricate knurling on the sides of the shell. Sapphire crystal is used on the touchscreen, which is supposedly scratch-proof, and much of the shell is wrapped in premium, light brown leather with the characteristic Bentley diamond-shaped stitching.

Only 2,000 units of the Bentley cellphone are to be made, so if you can afford the price (and justify it), buy yours now before Flava Flav scoops them all up.

Aaron Birch is an automotive enthusiast and writer/filmmaker from Detroit, MI. As a rule, he only buys cars older than himself.

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